Recognition's Dance with Worthiness

Meg Conley and Jami Attenberg

Note: Originally published in February 2023, before moving over to Substack.

Two reminders are dancing in my head today while life continues to be heartbreaking, exhausting, and beautiful in a kaleidoscopic-way.

From Meg Conley: "Worth doesn't have to be tethered to recognition." It's a paid post (very worth subscribing!) The subject line alone is a powerful reminder.

Meg writes about how extra care-giving needs can swallow up, or make more challenging, writing opportunities. She reminds that the unseen work matters, too.

From Jami Attenberg's newsletter: "Recently it’s been a rough few months in the publishing and media world. ... But we should never get so distracted by the ups and downs of the publishing world that it impacts our writing itself. That should be for us. That’s ours. And no one can take that away from us."

I read Jami's advice this morning, a morning that didn't go seamlessly, after a week where there was an overlaying sense of sadness everywhere. Catapult folded their magazine and classes, an event that is a loss and a reminder of how big $$$ in publishing isn't trustworthy.

I cling to and chafe against these reminders.

Worth is tethered to recognition in the eyes of so many powerful people that to find worth elsewhere sometimes feels like I'm not trying hard enough. Am I letting the people who believe worth = recognition get all the recognition?! Forget that.

Not getting distracted by the ups and downs of the publishing world (or the world world) seems impossible when my claim on writing feels so tenuous and impacted by caregiving. Not getting distracted by the ups and downs of the publishing world — is that letting people in publishing at the top get away with murder? Am I complicit if I ignore the chaos and keep my head in my notebook?

These are the addled thoughts I have when the fragility of life is in my face. When routines and rhythms are washed away by needs that don't wait — bodies, hearts and minds, housing, living. And it's in this time that people (Meg, Jami, so many more) who can speak truths, should.

Worth shouldn't come from recognition! We can't be distracted by ups and downs in the publishing industry — that's basically how it always is!

And I'm grateful to have their words to return, return, return to, even as my brain and heart spins around and around, resisting.

A favorite link

No Place for Self-Pity, No Room for Fear by Toni Morrison (The Nation, 2015)

Published

An interview with Rebecca May Johnson about her book Small Fires: An Epic in the Kitchen. I asked Rebecca about collectivity and ownership, creativity and constraint, The Odyssey, what makes a recipe Good Enough — and much more. I also wrote a bit longer of an intro than I originally thought I would, thanks to Autofocus’ generous word count policy. Yes, tomato sauce is emotional for me!